Sex

Ask Dr Gil - How Can You Like Me When I Can’t Please Me by Dr Gil Eriksen

Thu, 1 May 2008 18:06:53 -0400

This article is about the paradox of offering a straight forward appreciation for another and the perplexity of dealing with a person that is looking for the unattainable. Did you ever express to someone else that you found them appealing, attractive or likable, only to be rebuffed as if you didn’t know what you were talking about? Or still another situation where you validate another as being important only to sooner or later have them just trash you for seemingly no known reason? It is all about you just being okay with and digging other people when in their heads they are on some star-struck quest that is never met and you are seen as obtrusive. It is like, “Don’t bother to like me when I don’t like me.”

What may be even more perplexing for you is that you really think that they are super and never ever guessing that they are are looking for supersonic. They may even elicit strokes from you, either overtly or covertly, which makes you feel even crazier when sooner or later you find out that you don’t please them at all. So you go around wondering what is wrong with your judgment and how you value life and may be not so quick to know that it is he or she that is unappeasable, for they have set the bar so high for themselves that they, and certainly not you, will never reach the goal.

All of this frustration needs to be a warning sign, and instead of getting dumped, you may be best to just back off. Oh yes, you can try to have a conversation and attempt to clear things up, but that more than likely will never work as the message from them is, “I am real and you are not.” You may also want to ask yourself if your comments or compliments were straightforward and not contaminated with supersonic ideas or manipulations of your own. Then when you go on about your way, the crazy feelings will be quicker to resolve and not come back to haunt you.

Being outgoing and just digging other people is a good thing and certainly signs of your own well-being and not to be shut down just because someone or a bunch of someones fail to recognize their endless drive for perfection. And the same goes for offering criticism, for people rebuff good news and bad news alike, and that is key to knowing that they at once are full of themselves while saying the glass is half full.

So when you move on from getting head-tripped, it is important to let go, learn, and seek other people who are working mentally to be objective and not running around in a hovercraft with their heads in orbit.

Dr. Gil Eriksen is Editor-in-Chief of Beyond Elite Magazine, Founder and Director of Research at the Institute for Reality Studies, President and CEO of Gil Eriksen Communications, and author of the How to Think book series. A Thinker, Sexologist, Speaker, Author and Trainer, Dr. Gil Eriksen is a Realist and has spent a lifetime teaching mental fitness. For more information on Dr. Gil Eriksen, visit www.gileriksen.com or email him at drgil@gileriksen.com.

A Hug - An Embrace - All a Neutral Conversation by Dr Gil Eriksen

Thu, 1 May 2008 16:44:03 -0400

Most people have trained their minds to take and adversarial position and to not engage with others, except to be an opponent and to witchize the other and not to embrace them straight out as a companion, an equal or a confidant. The common position is seen as juxtaposition and meant to dominate by cunning and by defeating as the means and the goal. All is thought to be a chess match, with the real battle going on in the inner sanctum of people’s minds.

Most people are ravenous about hunting down the supreme idea and the one idea or answer that will work as the method of dominance, all at the expense of taking into consideration or valuing some of their other ideas that get judged as weak or conciliatory. In so doing they cannot coexist within their own minds with ideas that seem in contradiction or are a threat to their ultimate idea. But what happens to all the discarded ideas and thoughts that they try to banish from their own minds and their own memory? They become a big annoyance and embarrassment when they “reappear” and so the effort to cut them out and control continues.

When you see yourself as the ruler, you see your thoughts and other people’s thoughts as what ruling is all about and think you must narrow the field of ideas to one supreme idea that will hammer the other ideas. A hug, an embrace, or an attitude of neutrality complete with comprehensive evaluations and lots of alternatives and methods, is seen as defeat and death by one’s own decree.

Sex, marriage, partnership, common grounds, statehood and other collectives are posed as for the pretense of mutual working together, but under the veil are civil wrangles, back stabbings, and just more about being in control and reigning over all, including oneself and others. There really is no collaboration, no teamwork, no idea that is not defended, no course of action or plan that is made collectively, nor a thought of ideas as a method to gain, instead of gain control. It is like “He who has the first and best reaction to a problem wins,” rather than setting up a laboratory of investigation and discovery to explore the many possible responses and options to resolution. It is like, “Teacher, teacher! Me first! I know the answer already!” and wanting to shine and draw attention to oneself as a way of thinking and a way of life.

Everyone loves a good fight to show off, and thinks, “Don’t be mad at me when I antagonize you. I’m helping you in getting you ready for battle (even though I’m going to whip the crap out of you!)” So hugs become a vice on and over others, all under the guise of mutual love and worship; and conversations are little pep talks to keep the trust, love, and control going. “I love you and worship you because you worship me. And I don’t control you any more or any different than I control me, so we are actually equals and I am good and just.” And so it is that all is thought to be fair in love and war, and the saga continues with “How about one more kiss my little one?”

Dr. Gil Eriksen is Editor-in-Chief of Beyond Elite Magazine, Founder and Director of Research at the Institute for Reality Studies, President and CEO of Gil Eriksen Communications, and author of the How to Think book series. A Thinker, Sexologist, Speaker, Author and Trainer, Dr. Gil Eriksen is a Realist and has spent a lifetime teaching mental fitness. For more information on Dr. Gil Eriksen, visit www.gileriksen.com or email him at drgil@gileriksen.com.

Being Fit is Possible in 2008 by Dr Alejandro Montiel

Thu, 1 May 2008 14:23:53 -0400

Fitness is the ability to maintain the balance between mental and physical activity. It is a regulating and evaluating by you, where having a process, being constant, and being committed are the foundation. Yes, it is actually a mathematic formula that yields beneficial results if you know the elements, and how they are correlated and ordered in the formula. These elements are the mental and physical activity, financial status, frequency and amounts of food, food choices and the body’s level of efficiency.

In developed countries, the number of people selling their mental force and participation in the working process is higher which affects and reduces physical activity. Technology has also been contributed to decrease it even more in the last ten years. There is a correlation between earning more money and eating larger amounts of food out of the house more often and not being involved in the cooking process which makes harder to regulate and know what is in your meals. All these factors are correlated with body efficiency that transforms energy coming from the food into fat if it is not used, and body’s efficiency tends to save energy during this process after a while. The food choices of developed country eaters are often not varied and they are influenced by cultural and personal preferences such as eating large amounts, eating fast foods and overcooking. The end result is metabolic and physiological diseases, in other words, some organs are overworking or shutting down and people are showing physiological problems at very early age.

On the other hand, people who are marketing their physical force in developing countries are often not participating directly in the working process, their income is very low and they are cooking more and they are not eating too much. As a result the body’s efficiency is great and the people are using every single drop of energy. However, people who sell their physical labor often develop bacterial, viral and parasitic diseases coming from unsanitary environments. In the last fifteen years the economical situation is getting so bad that people are also under eating and forcing their bodies to work even more and are beginning to develop physiological diseases also.

We can conclude that to be fit it is necessary to create a balance between your metal and physical activity, choose to eat a wide spectrum of foods, and have a sufficient financial status to eat with frequency and in the appropriate amount in consideration of your level of activity and body efficiency.

Dr. Alejandro Montiel is a Feature Writer for Beyond Elite Magazine, Health and Awareness Specialist at the Institute for Reality Studies, and President and CEO of Functional Body, advocating realistic overall fitness in areas of Thinking, Diet, Exercise and Body Awareness. For more information about Dr. Alejandro Montiel, visit www.amfunctionalbody.com or email him at drmontiel@realitystudies.com